Blog: The Perfect Mom.
We’ve all thought it at some time or another…I have to be the perfect mom.
Ever since our babies were in the womb, we’ve done everything we can to be the “perfect mom.” Eating as close to perfect as possible, having the perfect amount of rest, and taking every holistic and all-natural product we can to boost the perfection of our pregnancy. We purchase every product that promises to make raising a baby easier while spending countless hours searching through blogs and forums to make sure we do this parenting thing “ perfectly and just right.”
We make sure to perfectly sanitize, wash, and organize all the baby things while also keeping our home and ourselves as close to perfect as possible too. We tell ourselves that we will never make the parenting mistakes that we’ve seen others make because “we will be perfect parents with perfect children.” I literally had my Husband scrubbing our baseboards and grout when I was within the final weeks of my pregnancy….with a TOOTHBRUSH. Yes, I was absolutely that ridiculous about the house being “perfect.”
While the idea of the “perfect mom” sounds magical, beautiful and glittery, I regret to inform you that much like a unicorn crapping out sprinkled cupcakes, she doesn’t exist. You will make mistakes and deal with so many difficult situations that test your patience, sanity and the very skewed idea of “perfection” but because of those challenges you will learn SO much. You will become stronger, more resilient and overall a better human being. Don’t believe me? Just wait until the first time your baby has explosive poop while on an airplane and you’re crammed in a window seat. You’ll see how quick you turn into MacGyver. Oh, you just wait.
Speaking of mistakes and difficult situations, let me tell you what I recently did, shall I? I’m still picking my brain trying to figure out how this experience will make be a better mother though….
Two co-workers are having their baby shower which happens to fall during my little ones nap time, so I decided to show up to the shower a little early to say hello and drop off their gift before all of their guests started arriving. A quick in and out and then home for nap time! Woo hoo! Mom win! Well after about 15 minutes of chatting and present opening I say my good-byes and head for my car. I turn my car on from the key fob to get the air conditioner running (its Florida and hot so this is a must!!) I open the door, strap my little one into her carseat , toss in my phone and car keys and shut the passenger door. I go to open my driver door and its locked. EVERY DOOR IS LOCKED.
Okay, don’t panic. My one year old is strapped into her carseat inside of my car with the doors locked while guests are starting to arrive at a baby shower I was trying to discreetly leave. COOL. So now I have to go back inside of the baby shower, pull out the soon-to-be Dad and let him know what I just did so he can help me. Enter extremely mortifying moment; the fire department has to be called. Yep. a damn firetruck has to respond to my bonehead mistake at a BABY SHOWER. NEAT.
Luckily after a few minutes of very impatiently waiting while trying to prevent myself from panicking and just smashing my window open, they arrive. Within minutes the firefighters were able to get my door opened and without damage to my car. My peanut was a little upset and I bolted out of there, MORTIFIED. Mortified for taking away from the soon-to-be parents at their baby shower and mortified for looking like I didn’t have it together as a mother. Basically, beyond embarrassed or looking anything less than perfect and frankly like a total douchebag. As I drove home, I thought about how hard we are on ourselves as parents. Why do we feel like we have to be perfect or appear as such? Don’t get me wrong, i’m not trying to justify locking a baby in a car, but NO ONE is perfect, nor will anyone EVER be perfect. I firmly believe in being the best parent I can be and always putting my daughters best interests first, but that doesn’t come with a “perfect mom” stipulation attached.
I suppose the purpose of this “perfect mom” rant is to remind myself and every other Type-A mother that shit happens. It just does because that’s life and we can’t control everything (as much as I know we would all deeply love to) and sometimes things will usually happen at the least opportune time - like at a baby shower! Seriously though, no one will EVER be perfect, so stop trying so hard to be. It’s OKAY if everything that goes into your child’s mouth isn’t organic. It’s OKAY if you miss a bath or nap time. It’s absolutely OKAY if sometimes not everything goes according to your perfect “master plan.” Seriously, take a step back, have a glass of wine and remind yourself that you’re awesome. Just keep loving on that baby and raising your child to be a kind and loving human being that isn’t an asshole later in life. No one is a perfect mom, but you can still be awesome, loving and just as damn magical as that unicorn crapping out sprinkled cupcakes!
XO, Nikki
